


love as if you didn't know at all

by hericide



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Background Relationships, Canon Compliant, Cuddling & Snuggling, Denial of Feelings, Embarrassment, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-16
Updated: 2018-08-16
Packaged: 2019-06-28 04:07:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15699825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hericide/pseuds/hericide
Summary: Two years Jisung’s senior, Donghyuck is technically a hyung, but he’s Jisung’s best friend. And as embarrassing as it is, Donghyuck has given Jisung a reason to like boys.Not really boys, plural, but just one boy. Just one Donghyuck that makes Jisung’s heart beat fast upon seeing him.





	love as if you didn't know at all

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hyuckmin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyuckmin/gifts).



> I love u essie <3 happy birthday honey

Jisung hasn’t really been alive all that long, but he knows a good looking person when he sees one. So at the ripe age of eleven, when he walks into SM Entertainment and meets Lee Donghyuck, the only word that flashes before his eyelids is  _ attractive.  _

It’s just a little bit shocking—how can someone be so handsome, and at such a young age? He hopes Donghyuck doesn’t find him too weird, for looking at him as closely as Jisung was, but he can’t help but to admire the rounded cheeks and heart shaped lips. 

The scene is a little odd, because it’s not just him and Donghyuck in the room. Jisung is not nearly as excited to meet Mark, almost a foot taller than him, or Jeno, whose head is large and resembles a block, or Jaemin, whose admittedly pretty smile fits just right on his gigantic head.

The informal meeting adjourns, and Donghyuck, who has known Jisung for a grand total of maybe fifty eight seconds, pinches his cheek and calls Jisung a ‘cute little baby,’ and Jisung kind of knows he’s screwed. 

They spend a lot of time together in their trainee days, learning dance cover after dance cover. They bond over their mutual passion for dancing, but to Jisung, Donghyuck is so much more than just a dancer. He is a powerhouse vocalist, a performer, and entertainer. He’s good at virtually everything he does, and Jisung is constantly in awe of him. Two years Jisung’s senior, Donghyuck is technically a hyung, but he’s Jisung’s best friend. And as embarrassing as it is, Donghyuck has given Jisung a reason to like boys.

Not really  _ boys,  _ plural, but just one boy. Just one Donghyuck that makes Jisung’s heart beat fast upon seeing him.

He tries, he really tries to hang onto the ‘he’s my best friend’ mindset, but it isn’t really successful when he misses Donghyuck endlessly while he’s out being NCT 127’s prized maknae and an overall star. Jisung gives up on that mindset completely when he meets Chenle, closer to his age and in desperate need of help with learning the Korean language. Chenle quickly becomes Jisung’s resident best friend, and Donghyuck officially gets promoted to crush status.

Idols get crushes on each other all time time, and this wouldn’t be so bad if Donghyuck were not so  _ touchy.  _ Jisung supposes it’s because Donghyuck spent the better part of the summer being coddled by his hyungs, but when he comes back to debut in NCT Dream, he’s clingy and affectionate. Jisung is often his number one target. 

Everyone finds it strange because Jisung allows it. He lets Donghyuck cling to his back after dance practice, lets Donghyuck kiss his cheeks at random times, lets Donghyuck pull him into his lap whenever he wants. He never returns the skinship, but he doesn’t shrug it off like he does when anyone else attempts the same thing. He stays put atop Donghyuck’s thighs instead of trying to scramble away, or bends his knees so Donghyuck has an easier time wrapping his arms around the younger’s shoulders.

Jaemin, hands down the most affectionate person in NCT, takes personal offense to this. So when Donghyuck is out with Mark doing some unexpected 127 schedule, Jaemin drags Jisung into his room for a talk.

“What is the difference between Donghyuck and I?”

Jisung scrunches his nose in confusion. “I don’t understand the question.”

Jaemin folds his arms across his skinny chest. “Why does Donghyuck get to kiss you and I don’t?”

“Hyung,” Jisung starts, sitting on his bed. “Is it really that serious?”

“Yes!” Jaemin insists. He sits down next to Jisung on the bed, leaving a little space between them. “It is that serious! I’m in charge of skinship in NCT Dream. I even got Mark hyung to accept my kisses, but you always reject them.”

“Donghyuck hyung is...different,” Jisung replies, but regrets the choice of word as soon as he observes the wicked little grin on Jaemin’s lips.

“ _ Oh,  _ do you  _ like  _ him?” Jaemin singsongs, poking Jisung’s side.

Jisung’s neck prickles with heat as he shouts, “ _ no!”  _ in perhaps the most obvious way possible. Jaemin giggles at his reaction and ruffles his hair before standing up to leave the room.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell him,” Jaemin promises, which basically translates to ‘I’m going to tell everyone else in NCT and most of the rookies too’ and Jisung kind of wants to die. 

Much to his surprise though, Jaemin doesn’t tell anyone at all. No one mentions anything to him about it, no suggestive comments are made, nothing. Jisung is relieved that  he can suppress his crush on Donghyuck as much as possible.

Except the fact that it isn’t possible. Donghyuck is everywhere and nowhere all at once. Come 2017, both Donghyuck and Mark are rushing around from music shows with 127 to practice for Dream’s comeback, back out to radio shows or to the studio. Jisung is immensely proud of the both of them for being able to juggle their schedules, but he is a little annoyed. He just misses Donghyuck. He thought that being apart from him would help him realize that Donghyuck isn’t all that great and that his crush was foolish, but it actually turned out to be the exact opposite. Now more than ever Jisung admires his hard work and sheer determination to be the best at what he does.

Jisung spends what Chenle would call an embarrassing amount of time thinking about Donghyuck, and this night isn’t any different. The performance of Cherry Bomb had been electric for all members, but Jisung’s eyes rarely strayed from Donghyuck. It was hard to focus on anyone else when Donghyuck exuded such powerful stage presence, such fatal charisma—

Jisung is thinking so hard that he doesn’t even notice his door opening. He nearly jumps out of his skin in shock when another body lands on top of his in the middle of the night. 

“What the fu—”

“Language, Jisung,” the object of his affection chides quietly. “It’s just me.”

“Hyung?” Jisung asks, tension melting out of his body at the familiar name. He pulls back the covers back and lets Donghyuck crawl in next to him properly. Donghyuck has his own room in the Dream dorms, he shares it with Mark and it’s just down the hall. If Donghyuck’s in bed with  _ Jisung  _ of all people, something is seriously wrong. “What’s the matter?”

“Bad performance today. Asked to be dropped off here,” Donghyuck murmurs, nosing along Jisung’s jaw. Jisung barely notices the way Donghyuck shaves nonessential words from his sentences, a clear sign of sleepiness, or the Donghyuck’s completely false self evaluation, but he does feel his soul evaporate through his skin when Donghyuck tucks his head into the crook of his neck. 

His muscles tighten on on instinct, because Donghyuck is in his bed, cuddling with him, looking unnecessarily soft and breathing gently against his skin. Jisung suddenly remembers that he has a crush on Donghyuck, a big, stupid, gay one, and being tangled up with him in bed is probably not a good idea. His proximity is tantalizing yet oddly welcome; Jisung doesn’t think he’s ever going to be in this situation again.

In the dark of the night, Donghyuck laughs into Jisung’s neck, barely more than a huff of air. “Relax, Sungie.”

Jisung hadn’t thought his stiffness was that obvious. He tries to relax, he really tries, but Donghyuck’s chuckling is back, a little more audible this time. 

“I don’t bite, Jisung.”

Jisung probably would have preferred it if he did bite, to give him a plausible excuse for his sudden nervousness. He says nothing, closing his eyes and trying to go back to sleep with the tiny bundle of heat pressed into his side. 

Donghyuck, in an attempt to get comfortable, throws one of his legs over Jisung’s hips and places the palm of his hand on Jisung’s chest. It actually is very comfortable, being able to hold Donghyuck like this without any sort of fear of him noticing the strange brand of fondness that dances in Jisung’s eyes whenever the elder is around. 

Donghyuck’s breath has evened out, and Jisung’s hand moves to play with his hair. He freezes halfway when he sees Donghyuck looking up at him, eyes lidded, lips parted, looking like the textbook definition of innocence. 

“Jisung, are you like...okay? Your heart is beating really fast,” Donghyuck states, and Jisung feels himself start to blush wildly, even more so when Donghyuck grabs Jisung’s hand and threads their fingers together. 

“I’m...fine,” he gets out with some difficulty. Donghyuck hums in acknowledgment, but doesn’t let Jisung’s hand go. 

As the clouds shift to cover the moon, Jisung comes to horrifying realization that Donghyuck probably  already knows about his crush. According to Jaemin, he’s not exactly subtle about it, but it’s not exactly comforting to know that the object of your affections is aware of it. His heart starts to beat fast again, and he knows Donghyuck can feel it because the elder looks up at him again.

“Is all of this because the moon disappeared?” Donghyuck asks quietly.

“What?”

Donghyuck frowns and presses a kiss to Jisung’s hand, then to his bare shoulder. “You don’t have to be afraid of the dark, Jisung.”

Jisung blushes so hard and so fast that he feels lightheaded. Embarrassed by both his reaction and the fact that Donghyuck thinks he’s scared of the dark, he rolls over to face away from Donghyuck. In his haste, he slams his forehead into the wall rather hard, letting out a small cry of “ow!” after the shock settles in.

Donghyuck snickers before rolling Jisung back over and cradling his head. He pets his hair gently. “Are you okay, Jisung?”

The elder is being careful with him, but to Jisung, he might as well have put him in a headlock. “Just peachy,” he replies, voice tight.

Donghyuck tugs him closer, and pushes Jisung’s head into his chest. “Sleep here for tonight. Let hyung protect you.”

Jisung really wants to protest, but Donghyuck is toying with the hair on his nape, and while it doesn’t alleviate any of the throbbing on his forehead, it is extremely comfortable. It only takes a few minutes to fall asleep in that position.

Hours later, feeling more refreshed than he has in weeks, Jisung wakes up with his head still in Donghyuck’s chest, and promptly freaks out. 

He knows he shouldn’t have let the cuddle session happen, but everyone finds it difficult to resist Donghyuck, even people who aren’t practically in love with him. Donghyuck has got him trapped against his shirt pretty snugly, his scent filling Jisung’s nose. A large part of him wants to try and wiggle free, but a larger part of him doesn’t want to wake Donghyuck up. An even larger part of him propels him to curl himself back into Donghyuck’s chest, because he can hear Jaemin coming down the hallway and Jaemin’s knowing eyes and huge mouth are not something Jisung is quite prepared for so soon after waking up.

“Hey, Sungie, are you awa— holy—” is what Jisung hears before the door slowly creaks closed again. Jisung purses his lips in confusion, expecting more drama, but his expectations are met when he hears a very loud “you guys  _ have  _ to come see this!” float under the door.

Jisung knows that someone will eventually be coming, but he has a few minutes because no one really wants to put up with Jaemin’s nonsense in the morning and it will take a good bit of time to convince them. So he does what any other person in his hopeless situation would, and takes advantage of the time to admire Donghyuck while he’s sleeping.

 

Donghyuck is devilish and playful in daylight hours, true to his given stage name, but now, as the last few wisps of moonlight filter in through the window, he is angelic and calm. His features are smooth and relaxed, the crease between his eyebrows is nonexistent. From his angle, Jisung can only really see his nose and mouth, rosy lips in a soft, natural pout. It’s kind of impossible to look away from, and now Jisung is thinking about kissing him and he needs to get out of this bed  _ now _ —

“Like what you see?” Donghyuck asks, eyes still closed. Jisung’s muscles lock in place.

“I really hope you’re awake or I’m really going to feel like an idiot,” Donghyuck goes on, the beginnings of a blush starting to show itself on his cheekbones. When Jisung doesn’t answer, his eyelids flutter open, and his lips forming a small smile. “Hi,” he muses, taking in Jisung’s flushed cheeks.

“Hi,” Jisung responds. A beat of silence passes, then Jisung starts to shift his torso upwards. “We should probably get up.”

“No,” Donghyuck almost whines, tightening his hold on the younger. “Don’t go.” 

Jisung fears that the sound of his own heart collapsing inside of his chest is audible. For a brief moment, he wonders what the consequences would be if he kissed Donghyuck right now. Let all of their circumstances melt away, throw away their profession, just be Donghyuck and Jisung for a few seconds. The thought of it is extremely attractive, so much so that it makes Jisung yank his arm out of Donghyuck’s grasp much more force than what was needed. He backs himself against the wall, doing his best to ignore the unfiltered hurt that flashes in Donghyuck’s irises, and the shame that burns beneath his own. 

Jisung opens his mouth to apologize, but before he can get the words out, Jaemin bursts into the room with a very bored looking Renjun in tow. 

The shocked sound that comes out of Jaemin is almost funny enough to make Jisung forget the past fifteen seconds. He peers at them suspiciously, pointing at the space between them. He turns around to Renjun, looking at Jaemin like he’s lost his mind.

“They were cuddling like five minutes ago!” Jaemin exclaims. Renjun shakes his head at him, raising hi hand to wave and Donghyuck, who returns it even with his eyes only half open.  

“Sorry about him,” Renjun apologizes, hooking his arm through Jaemin’s. “You guys can go back to sleep.” 

“Actually,” Jisung says, unfolding his long legs, “I think I’ll join you guys for breakfast.” 

Renjun raises an eyebrow at him. “You want to eat breakfast with _us_? When Donghyuck is right there with you?”  

“Yes.”

Renjun looks like he wants to say more, but Donghyuck cuts in before he can. “Let me sleep in. It’s Saturday. Only lame people like Mark work on Saturdays.” 

Renjun offers his other arm out to Jisung, who scrambles up to take it. Renjun starts talking about making another plate, and Jisung tunes him out in favor or taking a last lingering look at Donghyuck. His eyes are closed but his brow is wrinkled, and Jisung swallows down the guilt that settles in the back of his throat. 

He ends up going back to cuddle after he eats breakfast, Renjun’s keen eyes on his retreating form. Donghyuck is more welcoming than ever, Jisung’s past aggression gone with the moon and never again to be mentioned. 

At least that’s the way it should be. Jisung himself can’t stop thinking about the way he’d reacted, how Donghyuck must have received it. It probably would have bothered him less had Donghyuck not been so obvious about how much it bothered _him_.   

It’s completely irrational on Jisung’s part, because as long as he’s known Donghyuck, the elder has been extremely expressive. That doesn’t make it hurt any less when he sees Donghyuck clinging to Jeno, laughing and carrying on. It hurts him so much that he does something he never thought he would do. 

It’s about four days after the cuddling incident when Jisung marches up to Mark and says, “I was mean to Donghyuck.”

Yukhei’s there too, a protective arm wrapped around Mark’s waist, but Jisung doesn’t really pay him any mind. He refuses to fidget when Mark looks up at him, perplexed. 

“Is he okay?” Mark asks slowly. Jisung resists rolling his eyes. 

“Yes, he’s fine. But—” 

“Are you okay, Jisung? You look pretty shaken up,” Yukhei comments, and Jisung suddenly feels stripped bare, the two of his hyungs looking right through him. 

When Jisung doesn’t answer, Mark pats his lap. “Sit, talk to us.” 

Jisung does sit, but on the floor in front of them. Yukhei laughs at the blank look on Mark’s face as his expression of a hyung’s love is ignored. 

Jisung rubs his hands together awkwardly. “So, um. I like Donghyuck.” 

Yukhei’s eyes widen dramatically, but he doesn’t say anything. Neither does Mark, so Jisung takes this as a sign to continue talking. He recalls everything that happened the few days prior, and the two of them continue to listen quietly. 

When Jisung finishes, Mark sits back and folds his arms. “I see.” 

“I see?” Jisung echoes, suddenly irritated. “Is that all you have to say? Aren’t you going to tell me what to do?”

Mark’s lips twitch into a smile. “Why would I do that?” 

Jisung groans. “Is there anyone else in this world that knows him better than you do?”

Mark purses his lips. “No, probably not.” 

“Then help me,” Jisung begs, grabbing onto Mark’s hand. “Tell me how to make it up to him.” 

“Have you tried apologizing to him?” Mark asks, and Jisung groans at him, leaning forward to rest his forehead on his wrist. 

“No. He’s been hanging all over Jeno since and I can’t get him alone. It’s so annoying,” Jisung complains. Mark swallows a laugh at how miserable Jisung looks. 

“I’ve never seen you like this, Jisung,” Mark says. Then he adds, voice softening, “You really like him, don’t you?” 

Jisung nods, eyes cast downwards. Mark ruffles his hair gently. Yukhei, who had been listening silently, decides to chime in.

“Why don’t you just tell him that you like him?”

Jisung laughs a bitter laugh. “That never works.” 

Yukhei looks nonplussed. His eyes flicker between himself and Mark rapidly. “Sure it does. How do you think I got Mark to be my boyfriend?” 

Jisung’s head snaps up. “Got Mark to be your _what?_ ” 

It’s Mark that answers this time. “His boyfriend. Yukhei is my boyfriend.” 

Yukhei turns to look at Mark’s entire face. “Why does he look so surprised? Did you not tell him?” 

“I only got around to telling Donghyuck. He’s the only one of them that I’ve been around,” Mark explains.  

Jisung looks between the two of them, baffled. “I thought Mark was straight.” 

Yukhei shrieks with laughter, and Mark slaps his arm a little harder than he needed to. Jisung is pleased to find that Mark’s face is turning red. 

Yukhei rests a hand on Mark’s thigh. “Mark is definitely not straight. Trust me.” 

Jisung decides he doesn’t like the way Yukhei is looking at Mark and he doesn’t like where this conversation is going. He stands up, brushing off his knees. “Apologize, tell him I like him. Got it.” 

“Then kiss him!” Yukhei chimes in. 

“Then kiss him,” Jisung parrots, turning away and walking towards the door so they don’t see him blush at the mere prospect of it. 

“Jisung?” Mark calls when Jisung’s body is already out of the door. He pokes his head back in the room. 

“What is it?” 

“Do it soon,” Mark tells him. “Donghyuck is less fine than you think.” 

Jisung’s brows furrow in confusion, but he nods his understanding. “Got it.” 

He apologizes that very same day. He catches Donghyuck before he goes back to the 127 dorm, asks if they can take a nap together. Donghyuck is immediately suspicious, but he agrees; someone as busy as Donghyuck is never going to turn down a nap.

As soon as they lay down and Donghyuck wraps himself around Jisung in the way he always does, everything Jisung planned to say flies right out of the window. He’d almost forgotten what it’s like to have Donghyuck so close to him, how dizzying yet comfortable it is. His brain short circuits, and his mouth starts running on autopilot, the apology more long winded and wordy than it should have been.

Donghyuck doesn’t seem to mind though, soaking up all of the words with a small smile on his face. It does gets to a certain point where Donghyuck has to shut him up. He covers Jisung’s mouth with his hand, murmurs a quiet, “Jisung, it’s okay. I forgive you,” and all of the negative tension in the air melts away.

There is still tension between the two of them, because the look Donghyuck is giving him is searing straight through Jisung’s chest; it’s soft but impassioned, and Jisung is fairly sure that Donghyuck is the only person able to pull off such an expression. The younger is possessed by the unreasonable desire to kiss him. 

He doesn’t think he’s ever wanted to do anything more, but Mark and Yukhei gave him a rather simple three step plan.  _ Apologize, tell him you like him, then kiss him.  _ Normally Jisung would ignore any advice from either of them; Yukhei because he’s so outwardly immature, and Mark not only because he’s emotionally inept, but also because it’s easy to flout his will and escape unscathed.

Jisung rolls his lips into his mouth, another line of defense against the reckless scenario bouncing around in his skull, and that’s the end of the conversation. 

And just like that, cuddle sessions become their means of communicating important information. They go lay down to talk about things ranging from Jisung’s test grades to Donghyuck’s insider’s experience with the whole Taeil/Yuta/Sicheng scenario to Donghyuck telling Jisung that—

“I like you.”

“ _ What?” _

Jisung supposes he should have been aware that something was askew from the moment they got to his room. Instead of curling up to Jisung and doing his koala bear act, Donghyuck had kept a safe distance, his face directly across from Jisung’s own. Hint number two was that he had been fidgeting, and Donghyuck never does that. Hint number three was the fact that Donghyuck had said “I need to tell you something” instead of just blurting it out like he normally would.

Still, he’s filled with an immense warmth at hearing those words. It’s something he’s wanted to hear for a long time, so it doesn’t quite feel real.

“I said I like you,” Donghyuck repeats. “Are you going to say something or are you just going to sit there and stare at me?”

To anyone else’s ears, the words sound harsh, but Donghyuck’s shaking hands gives away how nervous he is, and Jisung can’t find it in him to take offense. Not after hearing those three sweet words.

In a rare fit of confidence, Jisung reaches down and entwines his fingers with Donghyuck’s. “This works out perfectly, because I like you too.”

Donghyuck laughs quietly. “I know.”

Jisung pouts. “Who told you? Was it Jaemin? Mark?”

Donghyuck pouts back. “You told those two losers before you told me?”

“Jaemin guessed, like two years ago. And I told Mark because I needed advice,” Jisung explains.

“You went to  _ Mark?  _ For  _ crush advice? _ ” Donghyuck asks, sounding bewildered. Jisung can’t blame him. He thought himself ridiculous for it too. He nods, and Donghyuck chuckles.

“You must have really been all torn up about me,” Donghyuck laughs. Jisung flushes a bright red, thinking about how much time he spent worrying over this exact moment, but it all worked out pretty well. 

Donghyuck likes him. Donghyuck told him  _ first _ . Nothing else matters.

“So...what do we do now?” Jisung asks.

“Now we nap!” Donghyuck singsongs, and it’s so adorable that Jisung doesn’t even protest. 

Their relationship remains more or less the same after that, and Jisung is the tiniest bit disappointed. Admittedly, it is nice to have Donghyuck invading his personal space again, but he wants more.

It’s impossible though, with Black on Black promotions beginning, and the other sixteen members of NCT lingering around, it’s difficult to find time alone to talk about it. 

Donghyuck makes time for it though, dragging Jisung into a closet at MCountdown to ask the question that’s been on Jisung’s mind since they confessed.

“Is it okay if I kiss you, Jisung?” Donghyuck asks, looking nervous.

“Here?” Jisung questions, eyes nearly popping out of his head. 

“Yes,” the elder says, leaning back against the wall. “That’s why we’re here.”

“Yes, you can uh,” Jisung pauses, swallowing thickly, “you can kiss me.”

Jisung expected Donghyuck to be gentle, but not this gentle. He cups Jisung’s cheeks and tilts his head down so their lips meet softly. It’s nothing more than a press of lips, but it makes Jisung feel warm all over.

Everything is warm actually; Donghyuck’s lips are warm, his hands are warm, no doubt from the sun that he hides within himself. Jisung’s cheeks are warm too, the blood rushing up to his cheeks heating up his face. He doesn’t know what to do with his hands, doesn’t know what to do with  _ himself  _ when Donghyuck kisses him again, and again, and again. 

Donghyuck pulls back and looks up, giggling at the starstruck look on Jisung’s face. The younger just open and closes his mouth, taken aback and unaccustomed to the tenderness and care in which Donghyuck just handled him with. Once he realizes that Jisung isn’t going to say anything, it’s Donghyuck that takes the leap again.

“Do you wanna be my boyfriend, Jisung?”

Jisung almost breaks his neck trying to nod as quickly as he does. The grin Donghyuck gives him is blinding, and Jisung decides that he wants to see it every day for the rest of his life.

Except that he can’t, because after Empathy promotions come to a close, 127’s Chain promotions begin and Donghyuck is out to Japan. It reminds Jisung of his trainee days, between 127 and Dream’s debuts, watching Donghyuck go out and be a star, but this time he doesn’t mind it nearly as much because he knows Donghyuck is coming home to him as his boyfriend and not as just his hyung, not just as a group member. 

They text a lot, mostly consisting of Donghyuck teaching Jisung corny Japanese pick up lines (“Why do I need pick up lines when you’re already my boyfriend?”) and Jisung urging Donghyuck to rest as much as possible.

They do finish eventually though, and Donghyuck is back before Jisung can begin to miss him too terribly. He gets his manager to drop him off at the Dream dorm, and after exchanging brief greetings with Jeno and Renjun, Donghyuck is flopping into Jisung’s bed and is asleep almost immediately.

It’s different this time, because Chenle is there, even if Donghyuck doesn’t notice it. Since Chenle lives with his parents, he’s missed all of their pre dating cuddle sessions, and his eyes nearly pop out of his head in surprise. Now that Chenle is back in the dorm for Dream comeback preparations, Jisung is going to have to warn Donghyuck that they have to be more careful.

“Jisung,” Chenle whispers. “Is that Donghyuck?”

“Yeah, he comes here a lot after 127 schedules,” Jisung explains as vaguely as possible.

Chenle pouts. “You never let me cuddle with you like that.”

Jisung winces at how wounded Chenle sounds. “Apparently I help him sleep better. He should be getting as much rest as possible.”

Chenle merely gives a nod, eyes going back to his Korean newspaper. Jisung blows out a breath of relief. They can remain not caught for now.

Jisung knows he is foolish for thinking that he could ever keep something from Chenle. 

The two youngest are playing an intense game of Mario Kart when Donghyuck arrives, unannounced, at Dream’s dorm. Jisung barely reacts to the sound of his boyfriend’s voice floating down the hallway, and barely acknowledges him Donghyuck has situated himself behind Jisung, legs splayed out on either side of the younger’s hips. He leans back into the touch and murmurs a quiet greeting, still focused on the game.

Chenle, however, seems to have lost his focus in favor of observing the anomaly in front of him; Jisung, not refusing affection. He’s staring, the game completely irrelevant now. 

“What’s the matter, Chenle?” Donghyuck asks, smiling mischieviously. 

“Huh?”

“Haven’t you ever seen a hottie like me hold his baby before?” 

Jisung damn near drops his controller at Donghyuck’s words, face beginning to heat up immediately. He does actually drop his controller when Chenle shouts, “ _ Park Jisung _ !”, fumbling with it for a few seconds before it drops to the carpet.

Without another word, Chenle grabs Jisung by his tricep, hauling him up and leading him to their room. Donghyuck’s boisterous laughter echoes down the hall, as does the door when Chenle slams it so hard the hinges rattle. He wordlessly points to the bed, and Jisung sits down, looking more and more nervous as he takes in Chenle’s unsmiling face. 

It doesn’t last long though, because as soon as Jisung’s butt hits the mattress, Chenle’s face breaks out into a grin. He clasps his hands together, wringing them excitedly.

“His baby? Since when?” He asks.

“Uh,” Jisung starts, pondering. “A few months? During Black on Black promotions.”

Chenle presses a hand to his heart in mock offense. “It’s been this long and you didn’t tell me?”

Jisung scratches the back of his neck awkwardly. “We haven’t really...told anyone? I think Mark knows but that’s because Mark knows everything when his dongsaengs are involved.”

“Damn it, I wanted to be first to know,” Chenle whines. 

“We were really weary of management and what they would say about it, so we didn’t say anything to anyone. But if there’s anyone I trust to keep this secret, it’s you,” Jisung says this last part quietly, but Chenle manages to catch it, and he beams.

“It means a lot, Jisung,” Chenle responds, leaning down to wrap Jisung in an embrace that he does his damndest to wiggle out of. He accepts it eventually, and they stay like that until Donghyuck comes barging in, wondering what’s taking so long. 

“Oh,” the elder states after swinging the door open and taking in the scene. “I heard the door slam and I thought you guys were arguing.”

Chenle’s features scrunch together. “Jisung and I never argue.”

Donghyuck comes and takes Jisung’s other side. “You told him?”

Both Jisung and Chenle nod, and Donghyuck hides his face bashfully. “And what do you think?”

“I, for one,” Chenle begins, voice loud, “think Jisung was always incredibly transparent about his feelings for you.”

Donghyuck giggles at that, giving Chenle a high five behind Jisung’s head. “Right?”

“But I’m happy for you both,” Chenle continues sincerely. “I’m glad this worked out for you.”

Something about the interaction makes something warm bloom in Jisung’s chest. Yes, Donghyuck and Chenle had coexisted before as his members, but now, having the two of them forego their occupational obligations and get along as his boyfriend and best friend makes Jisung so many different kinds of elated that he can’t even identify them all. 

The members of NCT Dream are not only his coworkers, but his friends as well, and it doesn’t take long for the rest of them to find out either.

It’s the night before Mark’s 19th birthday, and Donghyuck turns on his maknae charm to convince Taeyong to let the Dreamies have Mark for the night. They decide on a movie marathon, because it’s inexpensive, and also because something so mundane doesn’t require manager supervision.

The couch isn’t quite big enough for the seven of them to fit on, so Donghyuck gets a bright idea. When Jisung emerges from the kitchen with an absurdly large bowl of popcorn, Donghyuck makes a big show of patting his lap in offering. 

Jisung flushes, but sits on the very edge of his knees after placing the bowl on the table. Donghyuck good naturedly rolls his eyes and hooks an arm around the younger’s waist, pulling him closer.

“Hyung will protect you,” Donghyuck says, voice muffled from the thick fabric of Jisung’s sweater, but everyone hears it loud and clear.

“Donghyuck,” Jisung titters nervously. “We’re watching Disney movies.”

“Exactly!” Donghyuck exclaims, shifting Jisung so the younger’s legs hang off of the other side of his thighs. “There’s bad guys. Let me protect you.”

Jisung opens his mouth to argue, but Donghyuck starts playing with the hair at the nape of his neck and Jisung’s mouth snaps closed. The entire group had been listening quietly, and Renjun speaks up first.

“Are the two of you done being disgusting?” he asks, and Donghyuck makes a sound of offense,

“I am allowed to baby  my boyfriend!” Donghyuck exclaims, and Jisung buries his face in the elder’s neck in pure embarrassment.

“Boyfriend?” Jeno echoes.

Everyone in the room turns to look at him, expressions ranging from amused to perplexed to bewildered. Jeno shrinks back away from the eyes. “Am I the only person who didn’t know?”

“Yes,” Jaemin confirms for him, and Jeno whines and slaps his thigh.

“Why am I the only one out of the loop?” He complains, and Chenle just laughs at him and pats his head. Mark, who had been listening quietly and was likely tired of all of the talking, presses play on the movie, and the opening scene of Mulan begins to play. 

If Jisung does hide his face in Donghyuck’s chest to avoid seeing the Huns, no one has to know.

Later that night, after Mark had been shipped off to the U dorm to see Yukhei, a wide awake Jisung drags his sleepy boyfriend to bed with him. In the dark of the night, when Jisung thinks he’s asleep, Donghyuck’s voice rings out through the room.

“Hey Jisung?”

“Yes?”

“Remember when you had a crush on me?” Donghyuck asks sincerely, and Jisung briefly wonders if Renjun put any alcohol into Donghyuck’s drink. 

Still, Donghyuck’s eyes are wide with what seems to be genuine curiosity, and moonlight is streaming through the window. Jisung is feeling nostalgic, so he humors him.

“Yes, I remember having a crush on you,” Jisung muses.

“What was it like?” 

Jisung’s eyebrows jump into his hairline. “Is that a real question?”

Donghyuck tilts his head to the side like a puppy. “Yes, why wouldn’t it be?”

Jisung scrubs a hand over his face. “It feels pretty much the same as it does right now, but I didn’t think that I had a chance. I was slightly more miserable. I distinctly remember wanting to take you on a date.”

Donghyuck’s eyes light up at that. “A date! We haven’t done that yet!”

Jisung tries not to coo at Donghyuck’s excitement. “No, we have not.”

“Let’s go on a date tomorrow night, after practice. Let me plan it,” Donghyuck says, shoulders bouncing and eyes shining. Jisung couldn’t have said no even if he wanted to.

“Okay, it’s a date,” Jisung confirms. “Now go to sleep.”

The next day passes by normally. Donghyuck doesn’t stop by the dorm for dinner, which Jisung finds odd, but all of his doubts evaporate when Donghyuck tip toes into his room at 1 am with a huge picnic basket and tells Jisung to put on some shoes.

“Where are we going?” Jisung asks, rubbing his eyes sleepily.

Donghyuck kisses him on the lips shortly, before providing “Out” as the answer to Jisung’s question. The younger’s eyes nearly pop out of their sockets. 

“We’re sneaking out?” 

“Yes,” Donghyuck confirms impatiently. “The sooner we leave, the sooner we can come back, so hurry up.”

It takes quite a bit of walking, but eventually they arrive at an old looking building. Jisung hesitates, but Donghyuck rolls his eyes and drags him into the building through a side entrance. Donghyuck flicks a switch somewhere in the room, and a dim light bulb flickers on somewhere, and Jisung can finally see the huge telescope in the middle of the room.

“An observatory,” Jisung says in wonder. He’s fascinated by space. “You brought me to an observatory.”

“Not just any old observatory,” Donghyuck tells him. “The oldest one in Seoul. I wanted you to be able to see something that you love the most.”

Overcome with emotion, Jisung’s brain to mouth filter doesn’t do its job. “I see you every day though.”

Donghyuck freezes. “What did you say?”

Jisung blushes, caught. “I —”

Donghyuck puts the basket down and walks over to Jisung. He takes Jisung’s hands in his own. “Please say it again, so I know I heard you correctly.”

Face aflame, Jisung chokes out, “I said I see you every day.”

Donghyuck’s expression is unreadable, which is a first. “You love me?”

“I love you,” Jisung confirms, and is surprised by how natural the words feel coming out of his mouth. 

“This works out perfectly,” Donghyuck says, parroting Jisung’s words from their first confessions, “because I love you too.”

Jisung’s heart damn near falls out of his ass hearing those words from Donghyuck, someone who he has loved, admired and respected for so long. It feels unreal. The feeling is back, Donghyuck’s inner sun warming him head to toe

Donghyuck leans in to kiss him, and it’s so natural by this point that Jisung leans down to meet him halfway. Their lips only meet for a fraction of a second before Jisung’s heart almost falls out of his ass a second time, for a completely different reason.

“Who goes there?” a gruff voice calls, making Donghyuck and Jisung jump apart. “The observatory is closed!”

“Shit,” Donghyuck swears.

“Donghyuck?” Jisung questions, becoming worried at the ever approaching sound of footsteps. 

“It’s security, Jisung, come on,” Donghyuck says hurriedly. He uses one had to swipe the unopened picnic basket from the floor and takes Jisung’s hand with the other, running back to the entrance they came in from. Jisung’s a little bit terrified of getting caught, but follows as best as he can.

“Stop running!” the security guard yells.

“Fuck you!” Donghyuck yells back, and the laugh that bubbles up out of Jisung’s throat is impossible to repress.

There are plenty of things to think about—where to hide so they don’t get caught, how they are idols and this could ruin their reputations, the lectures they will receive from both Mark and Taeyong if they find out the two of them are gone—but the only thing Jisung can focus on is the sound of Donghyuck’s laughter and the weight of the elder’s hand in his own, and he decides that at this moment, nothing else really matters to him.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> this has been in the works since april and after writing and scrapping this fic entirely three separate times, I've finally come up with something that I don't entirely hate
> 
> thank you for reading!!
> 
> 180816  
> -M


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